It’s been just about a year since the last post, did you think we were dead? Unfortunately it’s just Ushio.
Pretty much everything I’ve watched this past year has been in a group, so the opportunity to pause and take screenshots and notes has never really presented itself. The only thing I watched alone in recent memory was Kara no Kyoukai, but I turned off the subs because I actually wanted to enjoy the rewatch.
Anyway, I got the chance to look at a pretty interesting release today so I figured I might dust off the old Kinmoku. I’m led to believe this was a solo release done by someone who isn’t a translator, transcribing off the manga, which in turn was done by a very competent translator. So this should be a fun one.
Right off the bat, really liking the writing style here. Capturing the country accent in the translation is a really nice touch. Purist weebs are probably having a cry, but this is how Hagrid talks in Harry Potter and it really fits the theme of the show.
Typesetting: tried/10. Bunch of missing signs but I think all the important ones were captured, at least. Minor point on this one in particular—writing “Kada-kou” or “Kada Harbour” might be more accurate, but I never translate place names so I wouldn’t know. Ask an editor.
Not incorrect, but the nuance is kind of off. This could be interpreted as him permanently living somewhere else, and his last visit being two years ago. However he is actually saying he used to live here, and it’s his first time back in two years. It would be good to be explicit about this, though it’s obvious from context as you watch the episode.
Just another case of sticking too close to the source. “I want you to bring it” gets the job done but comes off a bit stiff and awkward. Something like “Could you bring it for me?” might be a bit more natural, but this is more of an editing point than a translation one.
This line comes off a bit strange. Talking “normal” didn’t quite hit the mark for me, as she’s pointing out how he’s speaking in a bit of a Tokyo accent, rather than their local dialect. I would have just flipped it around and said “you’ve lost your accent”.
Coming right after the previous line, this one also has a translation error smell. “Blending in” isn’t quite right. She’s saying he’s been “dyed”, i.e. the Tokyo accent has rubbed off on him. Blending in might make sense if they were in Tokyo and she was commenting on him fitting in, but it’s a bit of a stretch here.
One of my pet peeve template translations. I can’t recall if I’ve pointed it out in the past, but “more importantly” isn’t the only way to change the topic. It seems pretty tactless to casually call out “more importantly” right after mentioning someone lamenting their dead sister. An “oh, also” or “by the way” could have sufficed.
I’m on the fence about this one. The literal line was “[she died] even though I was there”, the implication being he was there so he could have prevented it. Calling it out explicitly is much more natural in English, however it also implies that he didn’t do anything despite being in a position where he was able to.
We didn’t see the scene and we don’t know too much about this character, so we don’t actually know if he froze up as implied, or if he just didn’t notice until it was too late, or if it was something else entirely. This shapes what little we know about this character in a way that wasn’t intended originally, for the sake of a cleaner line. I argue with my editors about this kind of thing all the time and I still don’t have a good answer here.
Strange line, but I think I know how we got here. In Japanese, you say kids have gotten “big” if you haven’t seen them in a while. “Big” isn’t quite the right word in English, but if we’re talking about size then “tall” would be the natural conclusion, right? Though really, it’s not a comment about her size so much as her having “grown up”, which is what I would’ve gone with.
This sounds like he’s apologising for keeping Shinpei there late, which doesn’t really make sense since he’s been at home making dinner this whole time. He’s actually apologising for his own tardiness, since he was kept back and only just got home.
Not sure what happened here. He said she should dry herself properly, and “take off the towel” isn’t slang for that as far as I’m aware. The “at least” also makes it sound like he’s okay with the hug as long as she dries/detowels, but the source line feels like he’s trying to get her to stop by reminding her that she still needs to dry off, or at least telling her not to forget once she’s done hugging.
Another slip-up here. He’s not confirming if he wants the usual, he’s asking what the usual is in the first place. Makes sense. He wouldn’t know what this guy normally orders since he hasn’t even been on the island for a couple of years, let alone worked at the diner.
I think the tense is off here. I believe he’s describing the legend, not past events, so these should be written in present tense. It’s kind of difficult to work around because he mentions he hasn’t heard about it in a while, so the tenses get mixed up. This is the kind of thing I’d palm off to whatever poor editor gets stuck with me.
Hai means yes, ie means house. But it also means family, which probably makes more sense here, since they never mentioned anything about shadows going into people’s houses. I think it’d be more reasonable to assume the shadow impersonates someone so that it can deceive and kill their family members, rather than impersonating someone and then just proceeding to kill everyone else who happened to be in the house.
Another great line. The literal meaning is “there are some things it’s okay to joke about, and some things it’s not okay to joke about”. It’s super wordy, and even if you trim it down, it doesn’t have quite the same impact as the current line, which vibes with the Japanese line really well. Excellent choice here, though not sure about the idiot thing. I think it detracts from the punchiness a bit so I might drop it or swap it for just a “hey”.
Place names, I know, but I’m pretty sure you capitalise the S in “shrine” here. Hito is the name of the shrine, so you’d write “Hito Shrine”. “Hito shrine” makes it sound like Hito is some variety of shrine, rather than a proper noun. Not sure if this was intentional or just a typo, but I figured I’d point it out nonetheless.
That was definitely one of the more interesting reviews. Usually I try to think about how a Japanese speaker might arrive at a certain translation, but this time I also had to consider the possibility that a non-speaker might’ve unknowingly introduced an error or inconsistency during transcription.
Either way, pretty good release. Great writing style and lots of impressive lines, which is quite uncommon these days. A good handful of errors too, but most were largely inconsequential and just nitpicks. What would you watch anyway, given it’s in Disney jail? Machine translations? 😂