5 months after the fact but better late than never.

I don’t think I’ve done a review where the very first line is a major TL error. The meaning here is totally backwards. Miyabi isn’t complaining that Ao got her to come out, she’s prefacing her upcoming questions by explaining why she invited Ao out. It would be something along the lines of “I bet you’re wondering why I called you out”.

Needless to say the response is also off. It’s just an acknowledgement of her statement to prompt her to continue, so a “yeah” or “I am” would suffice here.

Not explicitly wrong, but the original went with someone that has “only knowledge” rather than “no experience”. The result is more or less the same but it probably pays homeage to her dad’s writing and her study habits, which is sad to see missing. At the same time though, I can’t think of a nice way to make that work in English off the top of my head so it’s probably more effort than it’s worth.

This one’s missing a tidbit where she says “(I plan to)”. Yes, with the parentheses. Unfortunately, spoken parentheses aren’t really a thing in English; the closest might be quote unquote, but that doesn’t quite work here either. It sounds pretty dumb in the original anyway though so you wouldn’t be straying too far from the source if you just stick “(probably)” at the end or something.

I appreciate this book title.

Except she isn’t. At least, not in this title. The source is missing the “horny” part since it’s a condensed version of the full title, but I can understand wanting to match the episode and series title for the last episode. The reason can be inferred so it’s not too far off I suppose.

This line is way too literal. It’s not wrong per se, but I can’t see a high school kid saying this to his mate. It’s something a teacher would say. Might say. I would reword it to something like “Horie wants to focus on studying right now”.

Japanese has a lot of obligatory fluff in the speech that doesn’t work/isn’t needed in English. In this case, it’s the former. It does sound inquisitive but only because it’s a rhetorical question. It’s actually an acknowledgement, since Kijima said he just finished soccer practice. “Oh, okay” would work a lot better, or “oh yeah?” if you wanted to keep the tone. “Is that so?” is something I probably would only say facetiously.

This one came off as really jarring. It comes right after a “wanna kiss?” and doesn’t convey the sense of Kijima second-guessing himself that the original line does. It’s more like a “but no, we can’t (because you have to study)”. More naturally, maybe “Oh wait, you have to study, right?” or something.

The emotion being conveyed by this line is pretty off the mark. It’s not a shock and remorse “oh no, what have I done?”, but a surprised (and embarrassed) “what the hell did I just do?” or “I don’t know what came over me”.

They’re in the same class. He even asks her to go together. The “your class” should be “our class”, but honestly I’d just take it out altogether and go with “you haven’t gone to class yet?” to keep it succinct. It’s not an important piece of information to specify, especially because it’s not in the source. Though to be extra nitpicky, they’re going to a different classroom for their next class (they usually have class in the room they’re in). But again, it’s not important.

This line seems a bit odd to me too. The words are all there, but it sounds like Kijima has his own philosophy that he’s trying to push onto Ao. That isn’t really the case; in fact, it’s nearly the opposite. He’s putting her on the spot by asking about her own values, almost like an ultimatum. It would be a bad idea to start it off with a “what’s more important to you?” before spelling out the options.

I don’t really know where the TL here came from. He’s just mumbling how he never thought about what Ao’s done in the past, and how he didn’t think she would care about what he’s done.

This one is pretty far off too. He’s saying “appearances are important” as a show of sympathy. Like, “well, I get why you would want to look like a chad”. The second half of the sentence about being taken the wrong way makes sense following this, except he never said it.

I really like and dislike this line at the same time. She’s saying if Kijima has experience with another girl, then he can use that experience when they’re together. “His experiences will turn into my experiences” is a really neat way to tie that all up, but it’s the “but” that gets me. It makes it sound like she’s dreading it, but she actually considers it a good thing.

Another nitpick to wrap things up. The rightmost column has the same data type as the one to its left, so if you’re gonna typeset the third column with “rank x of y” then you should be doing the same for the fourth one too. My immersion has been completely ruined.

Anyway, tl;dr don’t trust anyone at Commie except herkz :^)